The Tell
by NomDuClavier
Summary: Robin finally figures out why she's always the first one to end up naked - AU; 3rd season; Barney/Robin, Marshall/Lily, Ted/Stella


**Title:** The Tell  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** Marshall/Lily, Barney/Robin, Ted/Stella  
**POV:** Robin Scherbatsky  
**Word count:** ~880  
**Summary:** Robin finally figures out why she's always the first one to end up naked – AU, 3rd season.  
**Thanks:** **roland44** (over at Livejournal) for the beta.

-=-=-=-

Our monthly night of adult games started off half a year ago on a dare. Lily told us all the gifts they'd been given for their wedding, one of which was a game meant for couples, to better get to know each other. With Lily and Marshall having been together as long as they have, as well as them telling the other _everything_, I'm certain it had to've been a gag gift.

And that's how it started, a simple question to the gang at large. "Want to try it?"

"You just said it's a game for couples, how would that work?" Ted asked, confusion evident on his face.

"Well," Lily said as if explaining something to one of her kindergarten kids, "you and Stella could borrow it this week, and Robin and Barney next week."

"We're not a couple," I'd blurted out quickly.

Lily patted my hand. "Sure you're not sweetie, keep telling yourself that."

Barney's eyes were unfocused, his thoughts apparently somewhere else entirely, Marshall gave him a nudge. "You still with us there, Stinson?"

"Oh, right! It's just that when Lily suggested we try it, I thought she meant us as a group, and then my mind sort of took over, we were playing strip poker just now." Barney answered, a cat-ate-the-canary grin firm in place.

"Stop picturing my wife naked." Marshall said in turn.

"Awww, sweetie," Lily squeezed his cheek, "I love it when you get all proprietary on me like that. Rawr!"

"Who said I was picturing Lily naked?" Barney answered in turn, turning to look at me. "If you must know it was Robin who'd had most of her clothes gone, before of course Eriksen so rudely interrupted my fantasy; thank you for _that_, bro."

"Hey!" Lily said with a scowl, "Am I not attractive enough for you to picture me naked?!"

"Are you sure you want to go there?" Ted asked, but a glance from Lily silenced him.

"You're sort of married, and you were attached before that," Barney replied, "so I guess I saw you as a friend more than a woman; you know how I operate, if you're off limits, I take my game elsewhere. That's on top of you being part of my extended brohood."

Marshall sighed in relief, certain in the knowledge that Barney had never fantasized about his Lillypad, until of course the Barnacle dropped the proposal. "But if that offends you in any way, Lily, I'm happy to remedy the situation. How about the five of us adjourn to the loft, get out a deck of cards, and get jiggy with it?"

Lily offered her hand for Barney to shake, "Deal, who else is in?"

Ted suddenly remembered he had something urgent to do at Stella's, that or the idea of possibly seeing his friends in their full glory weirded him out, unless he was worried about strutting his stuff in front of us. We'll never know, either way.

Marshmallow didn't know what to make of it, and had a hard time taking in the situation, but put his hand on top of Lily and Barney's after a brief pause. "I'm in, no way my Lillypad's showing off the good stuff without me being there; if that means I end up having to drop trou, I'll take one for the team."

And that left me, and I never backed down from a challenge, a few of the dozen viewers I had as a reporter might still remember that.

To cut a long story even longer, for six months now, the four of us have been playing strip poker, and I'm always the first one to end up naked, as per Barney's original prediction. Lily tends to follow, and Barney and Marshall have about an equal amount of wins.

We then tend to let it all air a bit, put our gear back on, and reshuffle for the next round. Once you overcome the general strangeness, it's really not all that different from a regular poker night.

So last month, I finally figured out why I was the first one to always end up naked. I swear, I wasn't throwing the hands, whatever else you might think of me. Nah, it's that giggle of mine when I tell a lie, a nervous tick I'm not even aware of. Marshall, Lily and Barney on the other hand had no problem exploiting it as a tell.

"I raise you 50." I'd say.

Barney would look me in the eye and tell me I had shitty cards.

And there I'd go. "I do so _not_ have crappy cards." Followed by the giggle.

Now I've turned my luck around, and this night I'm winning.

One time when I was staying over at Barney's, I told him his Battleship privileges were revoked until he told me what my tell was, and if he ever wanted to invade my territorial waters again, he'd better tell me on the double.

Needless to say I'm giggling the entire night now – and yes, it's a bit annoying, but so is losing every time – and they can't tell when I'm lying about my cards, or just throwing them off.

"You fixed your tell!" Marshall exclaims, throwing down his cards.

"I know," I say with a smirk, "now drop 'em, mister!"

-=-=-=-

Exactly...


End file.
